Baby Proofing Your Career

Being a mother of three I've had a few goes at attempting to “baby-proof my career”. I’m an engineer by trade, currently working as a people manager, while concurrently laying the foundations for my own future business.

But why am I qualified to blog about this topic? Well, I feel like in some ways I’ve seen it all when it comes to the topic of balancing careers with babies. I currently work for a progressive organisation called Jacobs, who I feel excel as an organisation when it comes to looking after their employees who are mothers.

But it hasn’t always been this way.

When in my early 20s, a previous boss of mine was an interesting character. He was what you’d call “old fashioned” when it came to his views on gender roles. He one day openly told me that he hadn’t ever considered putting me forward for training or career progression opportunities as he believed one day soon I would settle down, get married and start having babies which would obviously mean his investment in me would be a complete waste of company resources! Those opportunities had been given to my male counterparts. At the time, I ignorantly nodded, seeing his point of view as reasonably rational… my, how things have changed!

These days, I have very strong views about this topic.

I’ve now come to realise that having a family is a part of who we are, and that nobody should have to choose between work and family, nor between the successful outcome of one over the other.

But more on that later. Let’s start with some practical tips on baby-proofing your career, stemming from mistakes I’ve made and lessons I’ve learnt.

Before Baby

Prior to having children, you will have more freedom to choose how you spend your time than you ever will again for a long, long time. So, this is the best time to progress your career, set yourself up, and create credibility.

As someone who has been there and done that, I have one key message to pass on to help you baby-proof your career before babies arrive.

Right up until the time that maternity leave starts, really develop your career as best as you can.

This means put in the hard yards, excel as best as you can in whatever field you’re in, create connections, and really aim for as many promotions and salary increases as possible. I don’t think you’ll regret it!

This message also applies to those of us women who are less career focused. I know so many mothers who believed that once baby arrived, they would want to quit their job and be a stay-at-home mum… how things changed for many of these women once the baby did arrive. I know, as I was once one of these women.

I learned that mothers can have as many, if not more aspirations for their career as others.

Children can be an amazing source of motivation for a mother to be an inspirational role model for her children, and to provide for them as best as she can.

Telling your Employer

Telling your boss that you’re pregnant can be daunting. It may not be received well, and you may find that you’re treated “differently” than you were before.

When planning for approaching this conversation with your boss, it is important to be aware of how well-managed and leading organisation have evolved in their approach to this matter. Such mature organisations have acknowledged that having children is an inseparable part of many of their employees. They have experienced the negative impact to their business on talent acquisition and retention, and therefore productivity when women have departed their organisation following the birth of children.

These leading organisations have therefore realised that the best approach is to convey the message to employees that the business will support staff during parental leave, and that their employees are encouraged back to the organisation at the end of their leave period as valued members, within a mutually workable capacity. Such mature organisations have realised that this approach will lead to better business outcomes due to talent retention and increased productivity in the long run. Therefore, mature organisations typically put in place robust procedures to ground this culture within the business.

With this information in mind, what can you do if you’re working for a smaller organisation with little or no experience in dealing with these situations? Or what if there are individuals within your team who seem unsupportive? Here are things you can do to in these situations.

Keep things positive

When breaking the news to your boss, or speaking with individuals in your organisation, keep the focus of the discussion on the positives. This might include showing interest and eagerness to return to work once maternity leave is complete, or the invaluable life experiences you will gain from embarking on this new phase of life. Whilst it’s important to discuss details such as extended leave periods and potentially returning to work in a part-time capacity, keep the bulk of the conversation positive, and always end the conversation on a positive note. This might be a statement confirming that whilst you’re excited about the baby, you’re also looking forward to the next chapter in your career as a mum.

Confirm your commitment

Your employer or individuals within your team may feel uncertain about your commitment to the organisation and intentions to return. This uncertainty is usually more pronounced in smaller organisations with little or no experience in dealing with these situations. It is important to re-confirm your commitment. Even if you do have some doubt or uncertainty about your intentions to return, keep in mind that a lot can change during the time you’re away so don’t burn your bridges.

Reverse Negativity

Reply to negative comments or stories with positive ones, respectfully. People may make negative or careless comments. You have the choice to correct these. Doing so assertively and respectfully will influence their perception. For example, if someone makes a comment about new mothers being time-poor and therefore not having the capacity to contribute as much as others to their careers, you can remind them of the time-management skills that new mums invariably gain from their experiences, and that you’re looking forward to applying these new skills once you return to work.

Mentally checking out too early

Don’t mentally “check out” until your very last day, and make sure you leave the organisation on great terms. You want the team you left behind to really feel your absence whilst you’re away.

Maternity Leave

Maternity leave is often a time when a new mum can feel like she’s losing touch with her career. This can especially be the case once baby is no longer a newborn and routine sets in. But it doesn’t have to be this way, and there are things you can do to minimise these feelings and to reduce the impact to your career whilst you’re on maternity leave.

Keep the relationship open with your employer

Ask to hold onto work phone numbers and laptops etc. Ask to remain on your team’s mailing lists just to “keep your hand in”.

Make sure they keep in touch with you

If possible, you could ask to dial into team meetings once in a while, especially closer to the time of your return to work. If your team goes out for lunch, join them even with baby if you are able to. Call your boss, at leave once every 2-3 months to catch-up on news.

Participate in training

Where training opportunities are offered to your team, if you have the opportunity then organise baby-sitting, and put your hand up to attend so you don’t miss out.

Professional development

Whilst you’re on extended leave, the market will evolve and develop. To keep up, undertake your own professional development while baby naps in order to keep up with the market or developments in your professional field.

Transition back to work

As the time to return to work nears, see if you can do some work from home, or in the workplace to help you slowly transition back in. Keeping in Touch Days (refer below) are a great mechanism to enable this.

Keeping in touch days are a great way to keep in touch with your employer, and assist with the transition back to work. You can undertake up to 10 days’ worth of paid work without effecting your Parental Leave entitlements. Check out the following link:

• Fair Work Australia – the ins and outs of Keeping in Touch Days
• Department of Human Services – the rules around using Keeping in Touch Days, and Paid Parental Leave

Whenever communicating with your employer or team during maternity leave, continue to keep conversations positive and to confirm your commitment to coming back.

Returning to Work

Returning to work can be a time of mixed emotions. Whilst you may want to return to work for so many various reasons, it can be excruciatingly hard to leave your precious baby with others. There can also be so many challenges. I certainly faced many. When I returned to work after each child, there was certainly a transition period.

Here are some of the things which I struggled with:

Many people asked me how I’m going to cope with having work responsibilities as well as caring for such young children, and where my children had been left whilst I was at work. They forgot to ask my husband that same question for some reason!

• Questions and conversations like these led me to feelings of “mother-guilt” and inadequacy. I have now concluded that culture and society have an inequitable expectation of mothers as the primary barer of caring responsibility for young children. With this perception, I am now able to politely smile and directly answer these questions without the feelings of unfounded guilt surfacing.
• When using the services of a long-day care program, it was at times heartbreaking for my husband and I to leave our children with their tears as they watched their parents leave them with their wonderfully attentive and skilled carers. It took a whole year before my middle child stopped crying at each drop off. If at all possible, it is best to start the transition period into childcare for your child well before returning to work to reduce this added stress.
• During the first couple of winters in childcare, my children picked up so many nasty bugs requiring them to stay at home. For us, this meant hubby or I needed to take time off work to look after our sick child. At one point I had taken so many carer-leave days that I almost lost my job! Whilst this is a tricky situation which cannot be helped, I have witnessed time and again that children quickly adapt after a couple of years. These days, it seems my school-aged children catch less colds per year than my husband and I do.
• The salary review period at the company I work for had come and gone whilst I was on maternity leave for each of my three children. By the time I was finished with having children, I had missed out on three years’ worth of salary increases. My advice to you is that if you are on maternity leave whilst your organisation completes their annual remuneration reviews, then make sure your salary is reviewed upon your return to work, and that you at least receive an increase in your salary equal to CPI.

Whilst returning to work is challenging, and involves a transition period, it can be overwhelmingly rewarding as well.

Be patient with yourself and your team whilst everyone adapts to the new you, and whilst trust is rebuilt in your abilities to contribute meaningfully to your team.

A note on “Work Life Balance”

When returning to work, I felt so much pressure to maintain a healthy work/life balance. Whilst I felt the pressure came from our society, I now realise that most of the pressure came from within myself due to an unrealistic perception of reality. I desperately wanted to achieve a perfect balance between being the perfect mother and wife, whilst journeying through the perfect career. The Mother-Guilt was fierce and strong within me, no matter what choices I made.

A story which inspired me greatly came from the life experience of Marlo Thomas – An award-winning actress, producer, social activist, philanthropist and more recently successful author. Marlo said that her mother gave up her career as a famous singer, so she could give her whole life to Marlo, her siblings and her husband. But Marlo believed she would have been just fine on “half”. Marlo said “When I look back at those pictures of my mother performing — and listen to her recordings — it makes me sad to think that all of that joy she found in her work came to an end. I wish she hadn't had to make that sacrifice, even if it was for the benefit of my father and siblings and me”. Marlo fought, lobbied and marched, in many ways for her mother, and to help women everywhere know that, if it was their choice, they could have families and live their dreams.

Well I agree with Marlo. I’ve now come realise that nobody should have to choose between work and family. Having a family is a part of who we are as mothers. The perfect work/life balance doesn’t exist. There will be times when one takes priority over the other and vice versa. If there is an issue requiring extra time to be spent in the office for a duration, then your family will need to eat canned soup for a few nights. They will be ok!! When the issue is resolved, they will have you back and life will go on as usual. And vice versa.

Many mothers have had successful careers and families. If they can, you and I can too.